another song of mourning

another song of mourning comes
another set of ashes to scatter in the wind
another heart to weld back to beating
and another part of me meets it's end

there's a photo of us that I put away
locked our smiles in a cupboard to haunt me when it's opened by accident
and in front of the new beginning I've carved for myself
I'll pointlessly pretend my insides have not collapsed in beautiful mourning

and another song of mourning comes

I sweep away what remains of you and what remains of us
And turn it hard and hide in that, to make myself believe something can start again
And for a while I'll think it works just like it did before
But suddenly I'll realise that I'm not breathing and crumble into nothingness

and another set of ashes to scatter in the wind

you fade quicker than I expected and sooner than I was ready for
and that hurts more than the memory I'm trying so hard to keep alive
and she will forget your face, and smell, and voice when you laughed
and I'll want to scream when I hear them talk of you in past tense
another heart to weld back to beating


and the clock will start to tick again
waiting for me to once more be happy
when time can slowly unravel my despair and pour it out all over again
I'm so sick of new beginnings

Another part of me meets it's end.